tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post3556322743578090461..comments2024-03-28T01:53:58.120-07:00Comments on Sublime Mercies: Healing from Sexual Abuse: 26 Things that Work for MeCharlotte Issyvoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-89264004891744111962017-01-20T19:08:21.471-08:002017-01-20T19:08:21.471-08:00Great post. Thank you.Great post. Thank you.Elkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16439267479135306864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-33506064549391626342016-05-28T04:53:03.405-07:002016-05-28T04:53:03.405-07:00Great list! Everyone has his or her own path.Great list! Everyone has his or her own path.Lokahi Nuihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07482010125577128044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-29502045205922976272015-10-30T15:42:46.138-07:002015-10-30T15:42:46.138-07:00Thanks for your comments. It seems that the thing ...Thanks for your comments. It seems that the thing people like most about this post is that I don't say there is only one way to heal. I actually do have a very deep, if unconventional, faith in God, though my definition of God is different from most. I know, without doubt, that God's love helped me survive when I was a child and that my faith helps me find my path now, including my path toward activism around child abuse issues. However, I also know for a fact that having a faith in God is not necessary for healing. I also know that, when someone tries to convince me that Christianity (and it's a very limited, specific type of conservative Christianity) is the only path toward healing... well, I'm offended. I'm also offended when someone says that a person must reject religion in order to heal. So, thanks for understanding what I'm getting at here. Follow the path that is right for you and I wish you every joy as you heal.Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-17625784806669159062015-10-30T07:21:54.414-07:002015-10-30T07:21:54.414-07:00Thank you for your thoughts. They are very helpful...Thank you for your thoughts. They are very helpful and your example is comforting to me. I was grateful for your input about healing through different religions and no religion at all. You are right, we are not required to be a specific religion to heal. I am a Christian and I find strength in that, but I also value that I can share my thoughts freely with others who do not believe the same thing. It is challenging I think, on both sides to feel as though our views are not accepted. You put it very nicely that there are many ways to heal. It is not our differences that should be focused on, but the similarities. I find the community of those who are healing to be positive and supportive no matter what our religious and philosophical beliefs. I also have been strengthened when someone allowed me to share my thoughts on prayer or my feelings about God. Just as they have respected my feelings about my life, I understand that they also have valid feelings and thoughts. I think I feel closer to them when they feel they can share an opposing view with me. I guess it shows sincerity in our connection. We do not have to approach it the same way, but we are approaching healing and that is what counts. <br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experience. You are setting a good example that empowers others to adopt some of these things into their life. I hope you continue to find strength in your journey. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14461047081423805668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-55614295809610071422015-07-29T20:32:45.304-07:002015-07-29T20:32:45.304-07:00So glad I can be of help. Feel free to share it wi...So glad I can be of help. Feel free to share it with anyone you think it might help. I recently wrote a post about the emotional abuse and neglect I experienced with my father. You might want to read that one too:<br /><br />http://www.sublimemercies.com/2015/07/the-appalling-silence-of-good-abused.htmlCharlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-12430722627870250202015-07-29T20:31:10.893-07:002015-07-29T20:31:10.893-07:00Thank you, Patti. And thanks for helping me throug...Thank you, Patti. And thanks for helping me through those really rough, flash-backy times all those years ago.Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-56317343674084155292015-07-29T20:30:35.808-07:002015-07-29T20:30:35.808-07:00I'm glad to hear that my advice helps those wh...I'm glad to hear that my advice helps those who have survived other forms of abuse too.<br /><br />Outfits are such fun. I've got some good ones coming up, including one with another pair of great dress clips.Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-25567940284688579052015-07-29T20:29:11.020-07:002015-07-29T20:29:11.020-07:00I'm so sorry those horrible people did all tho...I'm so sorry those horrible people did all those awful things to you. You and I both are working toward very similar goals: to raise awareness about this and to END it. It's nice to know I'm not alone. We're turning our survival to good.<br /><br />I'm curious to know which points I made that you hadn't thought of before. Do tell!Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-31157450618202065822015-07-29T20:23:36.954-07:002015-07-29T20:23:36.954-07:00That's a good one and I'm not sure why I d...That's a good one and I'm not sure why I didn't think to add it. My whole blog is about, as the tag line says, "finding small beauties in a big bad world." That's very similar to counting one's blessings.Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-57814355242476103322015-07-29T20:22:48.524-07:002015-07-29T20:22:48.524-07:00Yes, I do know what you mean about those who think...Yes, I do know what you mean about those who think they're completely healed. I've seen that kind of thing too, though not always that dramatic.Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-19650528960619363862015-07-29T20:22:06.120-07:002015-07-29T20:22:06.120-07:00This is me, Charlotte, sharing something someone w...This is me, Charlotte, sharing something someone wrote to me on Google+:<br /><br />Charlotte Issyvoo, you motivate me! I know plenty of dudes with severe PTSD that haven't gone through half as much hell as you have. Big, strong men, killers, heroes who are daily loosing the battle with their demons. I cry for them and their pain, yet here you are, a fraction of their physical size and strength, winning a war waged against a much more formidable adversary. Keep on fighting warrior! You're a role model to more people than you might realize . . Charlotte Issyvoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11081140798331499819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-40764533648833421122015-07-29T17:24:29.219-07:002015-07-29T17:24:29.219-07:00I agree completely. It's always refreshing to ...I agree completely. It's always refreshing to see a survivor say "you don't need to forgive your abuser" and to see them say "there's no single path to healing". There are a lot of people who loudly argue otherwise. And everyone I know who says "I'm completely healed" winds up receiving in-patient psychiatric care within six months. Melanie Blowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08962006092584531830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-14085020154643748392015-07-29T16:34:11.089-07:002015-07-29T16:34:11.089-07:00Your list resonates well with me. I'd like to...Your list resonates well with me. I'd like to add:<br /><br />Notice your blessings. Celebrate them. Daily.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-27248394631950303492015-07-28T19:57:01.921-07:002015-07-28T19:57:01.921-07:00Well thought-out. There's truth in each point....Well thought-out. There's truth in each point. Even after bleeding and vomiting all the garbage hidden deep within me onto the pages of Word, I still sleep with my head and face completely covered and need to surround myself as I lay in my bed (which is nearly 24/7 hours a week due to the paralyzing virus I contracted during the years I was trafficked). <br /><br />Healing is more than a process, it sometimes consumes every waking hour and haunts me during the night.<br /><br />Guilt and shame follow me even though I know it was not my fault. These two things are difficult to shake. It has been 44 years since those days. I was eleven the first time I was molested, twelve the first time I was raped, fifteen the first time I was gang-raped and was held captive by sex traffickers from the time I was eighteen until I was almost twenty-two. I am now sixty-three and have turned my carthasis into a soon-to-be published book. <br /><br />I fell into two abusive marraiges, drug-abuse, seven suicide attempts and self-harming.<br /><br />I now spend my days hosting human trafficking and sexual violence awareness sites (one of which led me to the pleasure of *meeting* you). For that, I am grateful. You are truly inspiring.<br /><br /> Your list is comprehensive with many points I"ve never thought of. Thank you, Charlotte. I'm certain this will help many survivors of sexual abuse. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00595292526310935775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-25009376407632296172015-07-28T10:25:53.687-07:002015-07-28T10:25:53.687-07:00This is an amazing post that deserves a wider audi...This is an amazing post that deserves a wider audience; such knowledge and such tenderness in it. I was fortunate not to have abuse in my childhood but someone close to me was not so lucky. The abuse in this case was physical but not sexual, but the advice you give - especially about self-esteem and all the parts of one's life connected to it - still applies.<br /><br />And as a side note, I love your outfit. How ingenious and pretty - love the sweater clips, the icing on the cake.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-1812125648088283992015-07-28T03:45:44.709-07:002015-07-28T03:45:44.709-07:00Emotional abuse is a sneaky one. It isn't hard...Emotional abuse is a sneaky one. It isn't hard to recognize someone's physical abuse because it is physical. And your story is an example of how bad it can be. I grew up with emotional abuse and while not nearly as bad as yours, at 70 it still affects me. You have done a wonderful job of defining ways to deal with the afteraffects and I can use many of your thoughts. Thanks for sharing.Judy Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02275744406579851114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-371230315197236857.post-48190729347078896432015-07-27T20:22:22.609-07:002015-07-27T20:22:22.609-07:00This is an awesome list!!!!! Hooray for the wisdom...This is an awesome list!!!!! Hooray for the wisdom you have forged and share with the world!Patti Powell, Singing Instigatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14841558894315793965noreply@blogger.com