I don't have any deep thoughts inspired by this outfit, and I didn't have any deep inspiration for this outfit. It was a summery, early Autumn day, and I'd just bought this skirt at the Salvation Army. That was all there really was to it.
|Shoes: Ecco; Skirt, larger earrings, flower ring, sunglasses, and brooch: vintage; Shirt: Old Navy; Engagement ring: Britton Diamonds|
I've owned two skirts like this in the past. The first I "outgrew" as I hit my thirties, the second I "outgrew" once I became disabled. Quite honestly, I think each skirt has looked exactly the same on me, not bigger, but identically sweet, slightly old-fashioned, and quite flattering ...
... even from the back.
Wearing it recalls for me the days when I was very fit and, as my doctor later told me, "artificially underweight" from over exercise. Exercise was my way of managing my complex PTSD, and it was also an obsession with physical perfection.
I wonder if I ever would have learned to exercise more moderately if disability had not crashed down upon me. Probably not. I would probably still be underweight and working out till I was shaking and sick.
But disability was not the solution to my problem. I would have liked some choice in the matter!
I do miss my toned, smooth body, with all its "cut" muscle definition. My arms are actually quite strong these days -- they do a lot of the work my back can no longer do -- but you'd never know it to look at them.
More than anything though, I miss the days when simple acts like twisting, walking, standing ...
... and picking up my cat were easy. Well, they were easy if he'd let me pick him up, which was never a given. Now, in his old age, he lets me hold him close and even purrs about it ... for about 30 seconds at a time.
See his one white whisker there? It matches the little white patch on his chest. So he and I are a matching set, right?
Putting Bobby down isn't easy either.
Quite honestly, my love of little creatures has been one of my motivations to move and do what I can to improve my strength. Bending, lifting, feeding, cleaning: these are all abilities I need to have to care for my cats (and my beloved wild birds) and it's often hard. Motivation helps in the struggle.
As I've said before, outfits are a good motivation too. I dress up a bit and go out. It hurts but it can improve my mood by adding beauty, creativity, and whimsy to my days.
So I dressed up the skirt, going all matchy matchy with my jewelry ...
... sort of. None of these pieces was designed to go with the others. I'm still a bit iffy about the larger earrings. What do you think? The littler ones were a gift from a couple at my church when I was about eight and had just had my ears pierced. I didn't actually know the couple well so I was very touched by their gift and have kept them all this time, though I lost the matching necklace.
I'm more than a little bit of a micro-manager when it comes to the photos Beau takes of me for this blog. Here, I am instructing him to photograph me through the white rails so as to create even more black and white contrasts.
Here? I don't even remember but I'm micromanaging again, something about light and angles and the white of the garage door behind me. I think.