Tuesday, March 8, 2016
A Death in the Family that Was Never a Family
My father died in a motorcycle accident last week. He was a no-goodnik, absent, narcissistic man who abandoned his children in a home so dangerous, the abuse left me with PTSD and disabled by permanent chronic pain. As you can imagine, my emotions are complex and difficult right now.
The above outfit and pose are my little attempt to deal with all my mixed up emotions about my father's life and death. I'm wearing a newsboy cap like he always did, and doing his classic, self-important, deep and serious,1,000 yard stare. I look just like him, minus the beard. But I'm also wearing the dragon ear-cuff that my step-son gave me. To me, it represents strength and fierceness, my way of saying, "The abuse stops here!"
In the midst of this emotional turmoil, I'm also busy dealing with my father's will (in which he badly stiffed his kids), police, coroners, the executor, etc. I'm exhausted so you might not see a post from me for a while. I just thought I'd let you all know, in case you noticed my absence and were worried.