OOTD: A New Approach

This post is a bit of a departure for me: it's "just" a style post. Actually, it's not so much a departure as it is a return to this blog as it once was. I won't abandon what it has become, but I'd like to add back what it was in the beginning. 

Sublime Mercies started out as a style blog and nothing else. All my life, style has been a great source of creativity, joy, playfulness, and comfort for me. In emotional and physical pain, it has given me succor. That's why I started this blog: to help me cope with my constant, extreme pain. 

I also really wanted to join the growing number of women writing style blogs that showed us all that fashion can be an ordinary, everyday thing, for ordinary, everyday people. People like me, people like you. That's the other reason I started this blog. The photos might not always be stellar. My hair might not be at its best. But it's real life, real style, for real people.

Over time, Sublime Mercies has become so much more than I ever imagined it would be. I now write about a huge range of topics, many of them very serious and even upsetting. And people are reading it! A lot. I'm absolutely thrilled about that.

But those posts are hard! They take a lot of time and energy, both of which are in short supply with a severe disability like mine. I've been managing to write a post a month, if that. 

And, in the midst of all this gain, something has been lost: the sheer fun of having a style blog, just a style blog. So I'm going back to my roots and bringing back the fun, not instead of my more serious posts, but in addition to them. Because, seriously, what is life without a little fun? 

Skirt: Dax; Shirt: Jessica; Sweater: Mak; Shoes: Ecco; Sunglasses: Reitmans; Necklace: vintage

Just the thought of making this change in my blog put me in brighter spirits right away. When Beau came out to help me get into the house (yes, I need help now), this is how I greeted him. 

Yeah it's true: I'm still in love with my husband. How lucky am I?

As you know if you read Sublime Mercies, I wear dresses most of the time now. I do love dresses, so it's not a huge hardship, but the real reason I wear them is that waistbands hurt my back a lot. I don't miss pants that much, but I do miss skirts. And I miss wearing nice shirts which, of course, can't easily be worn with dresses. 

So I recently went online and ordered a bunch of skirts, all of which have stretch in both the waistband and in the fabric itself. It's an experiment. The first three skirts arrived yesterday. I returned two of them immediately. 

But this one? I like this one! It's not super painful, and it is super pretty and versatile. So far, so good.

I immediately remembered this t-shirt which has languished at the back of my closet for a long time now. I was happy to be able to wear it again. I must say, it makes my chests look pretty grand, even if it does afford taller people a glimpse or two of my bra.

Diana Ross

It makes me think a lot of the late, 1970s, exercise inspired, striped top (and everything else) craze. Part of me feels ashamed to even mention this, because I am now so much plumper than anyone who wore this fashion.

But I do take care of myself, the best I can. It's not easy! If any ableist creep tries to tell me that I'm just lazy, and could "get better" if I just "tried harder," I shall give them a glimpse of these triceps. These arms didn't get this way through inactivity, that's for sure! My arms now have to do all the work my core can no longer do. And they are powerful. They serve me well. They're not beautiful, not to me anyway, but they are proof that I work hard to be as active as I can. It's not anywhere near as much activity as I'd like, but it's enough to build pipes like these. 

You bet I'm proud of that.

But back to the outfit. The pale pink went so well with the beautiful spring days we've been having for a few weeks. The rain will return soon, but the flowers will continue to brighten my beloved city. 

And yes, in looking at these photos, I am again aware of the obvious: 

I am very very white. It's always caused me to be really uncomfortable in the sun, but, other than that, it's been fine. Lately, it's making some of the signs of aging show more; with skin this white, there's no hiding the reddening of my shins, or the little burst blood vessels on my chin.

Whatever. It's not like I can change it, so I run with it, in my way.

Besides, pale skin and auburn hair almost always go together, and I do like my hair. I wish it was this colour in the shade as well as in the sun.

Lately, some variation on this hairstyle has been my go-to style. Just two clips. Sometimes loose, sometimes with a tight twist, sometimes high, sometimes low, and sometimes also pinned at the back in a simple bun. So easy. 

But I do notice that I need some new clips. See? This really is an everyday style post, not fancy.

This little cardigan was an obvious addition to the outfit, since it matched so perfectly. I have this same cardigan in several colours. It's a staple for me, either loose over an outfit, or buttoned up with a matching cami.

And, oh my gosh, this necklace! It's the genuine, Art Deco article, circa 1920s. Both its colours and its geometry seemed a great match for both the shirt and the skirt.

Something used to hang from each side of it, maybe two more pearls. But that's okay. I got it for $10 and I love it. 

That scratch on my chest is courtesy of Chuti, who was not in the mood for a cuddle the other day. I have a permanent scar just below it, courtesy of Ketsl. I'm of the opinion that one should have one scar from each cat that one has ever loved, to remember them by. I have one on my finger from Morgan, and one on my lip from Bobby. All of these scars were inflicted accidentally, so I was never miffed about them.

Chuti above, Ketsl below, as usual

The kittens are doing well, by the way. They're full grown now, and still in love with my walker. They're constantly all over it.

Speaking of mobility aids, now that I need two canes at a time, I've decided to treat myself to even more of them, so they always match each other, as well as my outfit. 

Pink and black outfit? Well, that calls for a pink cane and a black cane, darling. I always say, if I've got to be disabled, I'm going to make it a fashion statement. 

I'm also slowly switching to these sturdier ones with the triangle top. They provide much more support and ease my back pain more effectively than the straight ones. 

If I can't feel fit, I can at least feel fierce.

The sunglasses were also an easy choice. The theme was simple: pale pink and black. The sunglasses are pale pink. Done. Simple. 

I have been wearing glasses when I go out on my mobility scooter. You've seen them in my recent posts. It's brilliant to be able to see properly when I'm "driving." But, when the sun's out and I'm not wearing sunglasses, my eyes water and I get a headache. I haven't found a solution to that yet.

When I do wear sunglasses, and I push them up on my head, Beau thinks I look super sexy, and says, "You did the magic thing again!" Sometimes he's easy to please.

And so we come to the end of the first, "just fashion" post I've written for a long time. What do you think? Fun? Boring? Would you like to see more? I would, for my own mental health. They help me. I hope they help you too.

(I'm sharing this with Not Dressed As Lamb, Style Nudge, and Not Dead Yet Style.)

60s Geo-Prints, Wondrous Whimsy, and a Trip Down Memory Lane

This post is a first for me: It's a product promo post! I'm styling this dress for Kitty Canuck, an online, Canadian, plus size retailer. After Trump won the election, and tensions among marginalized people were understandably high, Kitty expressed her desire for more diversity amongst the women who model her clothing for her. I spontaneously said that I am white, but I'm also middle-aged and disabled and would be happy to model a dress for her. Not only from a fashion perspective, but also from a disability perspective. She liked the idea. 

I picked the Cherry Velvet Danielle Dress in Black Geo.

Dress: Cherry Velvet from Kitty Canuck; Boots: Ecco; Blouse: Eloquii; Socks: from JQ Clothing; Jacket: Target; Gloves, glasses, cape, tam, cape, and scarf: vintage

Before I talk about how I styled the dress, I'll tell you that it does indeed work well on my mobility scooter. After I ask myself if I like an article of clothing, my second question to myself is always, "Will it cause me increased pain?" Tight waist bands or elastic waists always bite hard into my tender, injured back and hurt a lot. This is especially true when I'm sitting down, which, as a disabled person, I do a lot.

You may not have ever thought about it, but our waists expand the minute we sit down. Outfits that look and feel great when I'm standing up, can immediately start to bind and hurt when I sit down. If I'm wearing anything tailored to fit my waist, I need to make sure it either has overall stretch (as opposed to an elastic waistband) or leaves me extra room for waist expansion -- all without looking too loose and frumpy. 

This dress fits the bill. Its sizing is generous, without being so generous that my body is overwhelmed by it. The empire waist is a nice touch too, as we all tend to expand a bit less in our upper waist than in our bellies. And, of course, if you're feeling insecure about your belly, an empire waist will help obscure it. In other words, it's figure-flattering whilst still leaving a lot of breathing room for me. 

I also have to think about whether or not my underwear will show when I'm on my scooter. If I need to squeeze my knees together to prevent this from happening, my pain levels shoot up in minutes and my day is ruined This skirt is full enough that I don't need to worry about that at all, yet it's not so full that it could catch in my wheels. I do wear full skirts and dresses, but I'm constantly checking to see if they're dragging on the ground or about to cause a disastrous wardrobe malfunction.

The strangely fun back of this dress is irrelevant to my disability but certainly worth showcasing. It is unexpected but it works, with or without a shirt underneath it, and no, your bra straps won't show, even if they're the stupidly wide ones most full-figured women wear. 

The back is attached to the collar in the front and it takes a little figuring out, but now that I know what I'm doing, it's easy peasy. 

But, all that aside, I first pick my clothes not because they're disability friendly, but because I like them. I picked this dress because it's not like anything else I own. I knew its cut would be flattering on a curvy figure, because I do have dresses with similar cuts. But I don't have dresses with geo-prints, or I didn't, anyway. From a distance, it looks black, white, and red, but it's actually black, white, orange, and pink - sort of. Whatever the colours, I like them, and I'll pair the dress with either orange or tomato red, or, as in this case, both.

Lately, I'm really into late 60s and early 70s patterns and colours combinations. There was certainly nothing subtle about them!

I'm just old enough to remember having worn them myself. See? Is it just me or is this little outfit I wore for my 4th birthday quite stunningly similar, in colour and style, to my outfit in this post?

I love that!

But please don't merely say I look cute in that old photo. I was already being sexually abused by Smother and many of her friends and the unbearable sorrow in my face shows it. 

That little girl was me. I am that little girl. My eyes already had that haunted look about them that I will never lose.

But, yeah, I was also cute, here in a very similar outfit, getting ready to blow out the candles on my third birthday.

Clearly, crazy colours and the shirt under the jumper/overalls/dress thing was a popular trend in the early 70s.

(And, yes, in case you were wondering, I was very often compared to three literary girls with auburn braids: Pipi Longstocking, Anne of Green Gables, and Laura Ingalls Wilder of the Little House on the Prairies books. I'm going to come back to that in an upcoming post about my lifelong love affair with books.)

See that look of pride in my outfit?

Nothing new, eh?

Anyway, add a pussy bow to this general, 60s/70s theme and, presto!

You're all grownup.

So adding this royal blue, Eloquii, pussy bow blouse to my outfit was a no-brainer. I really love the striking contrasts. They're so bold! 

While the colours of my dress remind me of the late 60s, the cut of it reminds me much more of ...

... the early 60s.

And, of course, fashions change slowly, so the fuller dresses coexisted for a while with the Mod-influenced styles that followed. Check out Betty's outfit on the bottom left. A bit like mine? I'd say so! Such older comics were still lying around here and there in my childhood. After all, it's not like we just throw things out when styles change. If you doubt me, think of your grandparents' living room. Did/does it seem preserved in aspic several decades before you were born? I'll bet it did!

Pipi Longstocking, Anne of Green Gables, Betty... Are you noticing a bit of a literary theme here?

Somehow, this outfit reminded me of the sometimes playful whimsy of reading, so expect a part 2 and 3 of this post, all about books books books!

But back to the outfit. In my opinion, a lot of 60s and early 70s jewelry, and fashion in general, wasn't exactly beautiful. It had a harshness about it that is something of an acquired taste.

I find in that fact a metaphor for life itself: there can be beauty in struggle and difficulty.

I sometimes think there's a kind of odd, almost masochistic honesty in such pieces. Is that weird? I don't mind if you say it is.

These harsh lines are echoed in these great, vintage, men's glasses that I got for $20 and then had fitted with my prescription. (Note the heavy eyeliner on my upper lids, too, an absolute staple of the 60s and early 70s.) Yes, I really do need glasses but I'm too vain to wear them ...

... unless they go with my outfit, which these certainly did. This is one of my new favourite photos of myself.

Do you like my gloves? How could you not? They're Club Monaco but I got them second hand for $40. Not bad, eh? They knock me out, they're so cool.

Let's be honest: they're sexy!

Beau's wearing my hat, an Old Navy shirt, and a jacket I got for him at Marks Workwear World. He and I were both digging out our seldom worn, winter wear as we had an extremely long and unusual cold and snowy snap here this year.

It was so cold! I hated it. This was one of the first days that the snow had melted enough for me to go out on my scooter.

But I still had to remember how to dress for real winter, a skill I haven't needed since I last lived in Toronto, when I was getting my MA (in English, something I'll write about more in my upcoming book posts). Layering is a skill I had to call up from about 15 years ago.

Under all, I wore a warm cami, stockings, and tall socks.

Over the basic outfit: a little sweater ...

... and a vintage scarf that matched the dress so well, it was almost nuts. I don't even remember getting this scarf but I'm glad I did.

You may recall that my basic, pea-coat style winter coat was getting too small (I, however, am not getting too big!). I had a hell of a time finding a replacement for it. It seems that the must-have winter coat this year is a puffer jacket but I've never been one to be a slave to current fashion trends so I held out and finally found this one at Target online. The pockets are poorly placed, I think, and bulge in unflattering ways, but, otherwise, it's pretty good.

And then there was my world famous wool cape over all.

And I was still too damned cold!

So I wore my little tam too. I don't usually wear toques and other knit hats because they're useless in rain, but this year was totally different from our usual winters so I found this at a local vintage shop and have been wearing it often. It's cute but guess what? I was still too cold.

Remember, I generate virtually no body heat on my scooter, and the icy wind whips against me, especially my hands, face, shins, and toes. It's freezing!

My disabled friends on wheels in other places, how on earth do you deal with real winters? How do you stay warm? And do they actually bother to clear the sidewalks of snow where you live? They didn't here and it drove me wild with anger and frustration.

But when we took these photos, the snow was finally clear enough that I was starting to regain my freedom so, obviously, my mood was improving. And I was wearing this whimsical dress that made me think of books, so, of course, I was having fun too. Complete strangers compliment it and that's never a bad thing.

I'm super excited about Parts 2 and 3 of this post, which will give you lots of reading ideas for young and old alike, and will give you some weird and wonderful insights into my intellectual development from a little mite of five, to the bookish brainiac nerd I have become. I'm enjoying writing them. I hope you enjoy reading them.

Stay tuned.

(I'm sharing this with Rachel the Hat, In the Writer's Closet, Tina's Pink Friday, Honest Mum, Adri Lately, Fashion Should Be Fun, Not Dead Yet, Elegantly Dressed and Stylish, Not Dressed As Lamb, Style Nudge, and Style Crone.)